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Ava Collins

Sixteen Candles



A beam of autumn sun creeped through the gap in my bedroom curtains as I woke, its warmth matching the feeling in my stomach. The day had come. I was finally old enough to sit behind the wheel of a car alone. Oh, the freedom! Oh, the joy! I felt a rush of adrenaline flood my veins as I envisioned myself rolling along the highway belting at the top of my lungs to my favorite tracks.


Two days prior I had bought my first car. I scoured the internet day and night for the perfect vehicle, until finally there she was. The title read ‘silver Audi A3 2L 288 Turbo horse powered engine’. I didn’t exactly comprehend the car lingo, but I grasped that ‘turbo’ didn’t mean slow. With a bit of help from my mum and a gathering of every last penny I could find, I made the purchase. To a sixteen year old girl, the vehicle was a masterpiece. Sleek and classy yet speedy and cool. Eagerly, I flung the bed covers off me, grabbed my new pair of keys and headed for the door.


Here I was, in my new car, by myself, ready to take on the world. I was absolutely ecstatic as I rolled out of the driveway in my new whip. So excited that I curbed my back wheel on the walkway just outside of our house. Smooth.


After driving around the block a couple times, windows down, basking in my newfound independence, a light flickered on the dash. Oh god, please don’t blow up. It took me a moment and a couple beads of sweat to realize that I was simply low on gas. To most this would be a mere inconvenience. But for a first timer, this mundane activity was an excitement.


I pulled into our local gas station ready to fuel up like the mature woman I was becoming. Swiftly, I turned the engine off, popped the cap and hopped out of the car like a seasoned vet. To my left, a young woman had just done the same. Her black sedan with a notable dent on the front bumper made a squeaky moan as it came to a stop. We gave each other the ‘I-don’t-know-you-but-I’m-trying-to-be-nice’ stranger smile and continued on with our doings. For a moment, I stared blankly at the gas pump, flustered by the array of choices. No one told me there were four different types of gas? I felt my face burn a crimson red as my veteran status seemed to be fading rapidly. Just pick the green one.


The sign read in bold, “prepaid unless manually permitted by the teller.” I recalled the countless times I had watched my mum, jaunt into the station in her Range Rover SUV, and get waved on to fuel up without paying first. Assuming this privilege was attributed to the fact that she was a businesswoman who constantly looked like she was on a mission, I accepted the idea that I, in my three-day-worn hoodie and sweatpants, would have to pay before pumping. I grabbed my wallet and walked towards the gas station still slightly flushed by the curveball I had just been thrown. However, to my surprise, the man in the window flashed me a wink and a smile, waving me on to fuel up. How cool. How mature. Maybe, the façade is working. Proudly, I wandered back to my car with a spring in my step.


“HEY YOU,” I heard the man holler from behind me, his tone not matching the charisma of our interaction.


Could he be speaking to me?


I quickly turned to see if I was right.


“YES YOU.”


Thank God, he’s not looking my way.


My eyes fluttered toward the young woman I had exchanged niceties with prior.


“Come on in now. Don’t be shy,” he bellowed across the station.


Could I be hearing this right? Surely, I was reading the situation incorrectly.


Her face appeared much akin to the crimson flush I had experienced just minutes ago. Only now I realized how my embarrassment had been off track. She caught my glance, and I couldn’t help but send her eyes of sympathy. Time seemed to freeze as I stood there confused as to what I had just witnessed. I wanted to run into the gas station, confront this white middle-aged man as to exactly why he allowed me, a white young girl, to fuel without paying and the Maori woman next to me was not allowed the same treatment, but my body froze. She knew why. We both knew why.


Mortified, I filled my car. Any remnant of joy had long been replaced by frustration. I watched her return to her car, look up and smile at me. I tried to return it, but I was struck by a wave of sadness. I could only imagine how she felt. Here we were, at the cusp of 2020 in New Zealand, a country that prides itself upon individuality, inclusion and liberalism. And yet, here I was bearing witness to the everyday presence of racial profiling and white privilege. My heart sank as I drove home yearning for the joyful innocence I had left with.


Everyday around the world individuals are racially profiled and experience instances of casual racism. A study of racism in New Zealand (Aotearoa) and Australian schools found that one in three students (of colour) report being a victim of racial discrimination by their peers according to research conducted by the Australian National University (The Guardian). This prevalent issue in New Zealand and Australia particularly toward Maori (natives of New Zealand) and Aborigines (natives of Australia) is one that often gets overlooked.


Specifically, in Aotearoa, we portray the image that we are one. After all our national rugby team is called the “All Blacks”, our national anthem is sung in Te Reo, and we do have extra Maori funding and scholarships. But it’s time we look away from the systematic side of the equation and turn our attention to the social prejudices embedded in our culture.


Much attributed to its multicultural past, New Zealand is well known for its diversity. However, the nation has been stuck in a cyclic pattern of discrimination against indigenous people since its discovery by Abel Tasman over 700 years ago. This social racism stems back to the first European settlements. When Edward G. Wakefield and his colonists arrived, they were confronted by tribal people of rich culture and strong tradition. Quickly, they unfairly bought Maori out of land and enforced a British way of life. Overnight, New Zealand had gone from a tribal land run by Maori to a “developed nation” controlled by the Queen.


Fast-forward to the 21st century and this initial maltreatment is still affecting the Polynesian community, where “the lack of education is the starting point of a vicious circle that then leads to a higher rate of unemployment and poverty, to diverse social problems such as alcoholism and the use of drugs and to an overrepresentation of Māori in jails” (Peace & Freedom). This is a key cause of the racial profiling and white privilege we see in our country. “New Zealand has the most targeted criminal justice system in the world. Māori currently make up 51.7% of the prison population, which is a 3.5x over-representation per capita. In Women's prisons, Māori women make up 63% of the female prison population…If this isn't alarming enough, the prison population's racial disparities are less for African Americans in the United States, who are over-represented in the US prison population by 2.8x” (Scoop NZ). Unemployment, poverty, alcoholism and overrepresentation in jails has devastating effects on Māori and negative consequences on the way they are perceived by the rest of the population. Such factors contribute to racial discrimination and prejudice against Māori and Pasifika.


We need to address our mistakes of the past and not revert to ‘blaming the victim’ for the way things are. “Confronting injustice and acknowledging past wrongs is part of the process of healing for the country” (Psychology Today). It is far time we break the taboo on the presence of racial discrimination in New Zealand. In light of recent global events surrounding the Black Lives Matter Campaign and overarching racial inequalities, the time has never been better. Let us not settle for the way things are, but rather see this an opportunity to grow and be better. It’s time we start a national discussion about race; Do it for your neighbours, your family, your friends and for the young girl at the gas station blowing out sixteen candles.



Works Cited


Bartholomew, Robert. ‘New Zealand: A Nation Grappling with Its Racist Past,’ Psychology Today, 14th June 2020. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/its-catching/202006/new-zealand-nation-grappling-its-racist-past-0 Accessed 02/20/21


Keddy, Tobey. ‘Maori in Prison: Where’s the transformational change?” Scoop, 29th October 2020. https://www.scoop.co.nz/stories/HL2010/S00155/maori-in-prison-wheres-the-transformational-change.htm#:~:text=New%20Zealand%20has%20the%20most,of%20the%20female%20prison%20population Accessed 02/23/2021


McGowan, Michael. ‘Racism study finds one in three school students are victims of discrimination,’ The Guardian, 26th August 2019.


WILFP Wrtiers, ‘Racial Discrimination in New Zealand: Māori at the Heart of the Debate,’ Women’s International League For Peace & Freedom, 26th March 2013 https://www.wilpf.org/racial-discrimination-in-new-zealand-maori-at-the-heart-of-the-debate/ Accessed 02/18/21




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