I always knew I was White. I mean, obviously I was able to tell by looking in the mirror. This realization was heightened when I started playing basketball. I played on an AAU travel team in New York City. My team consisted of all Black and darker-toned Spanish girls. We had one Asian girl on our team, but she had a darker complexion. So as you can imagine, I really stood out on that team especially that I am even paler than most White people. There were actually two Brookes on my team, so my name was ‘White Brooke.” This was how my teammates and coaches addressed me, on and off the court. For instance, if both Brookes were on the court we would either hear “Black Brooke!” or “White Brooke!” I didn't mind it though. My team never mistreated because I was White. There wasn’t one day that I felt un-welcomed or disrespected- we were a family. They would make jokes every now and then about my ‘whiteness’ but it was friendly and we all knew that.. They would always have my back if I needed them.
One day, my team and I went to an outdoor tournament in Brooklyn during the summer. These summer tournaments were open to anyone to watch, so we always had a big group of spectators. They also always have someone on the loudspeaker talking about the game, hyping players up, making jokes, and all that fun stuff. When we got there, I was the only White one in the park. This was out of my team, the other team, coaches, and the crowd. Everyone would stare at me. Personally, I didn’t care because I'm not really a fan of fitting in, and to me I was just coming to play, and everything outside that didn't matter to me.
When the game started the announcer started talking about me. I'm bringing up the ball and he's giving me these nicknames.
“Here comes Snow White bringing up the ball.”
“Penelope for the three.”
“Check out Snowflake taking out the ball!”
Clearly, I was given these names because I was White. It made me smile though, and I found myself actually waiting to hear the new nicknames. It was great, and the extra attention drove my game.
These comments weren’t the only thing that was thrown at me because of my race. The other team overlooked me. They thought just because I was White, I wasn’t gonna be an issue. They did things like left me open to shoot, or slacked on defense thinking they didn’t need to try with me.
When I started to play well, I felt the annoyance of the opposing team. I was bringing up the ball, and got right past their point guard. She took both of her hands and shoved me across the court. I caught myself on my hands and knees. I heard the refs whistle blow and my teammates' parents yelling in the background. I picked myself back up and made my way to the free throw line. When you get tecched in basketball the other player gets two free throws without anyone on the line. The free throw line was right next to the opposing team's bench. I still remember it to this day.
“She's White. She's not gonna make these. Don’t worry about it yall, you're good,” Their coach said nodding her head at the point guard who shoved me. This very moment hit me and I remember just staring at the rim replaying it in my head. I was amazed that a grown woman would say such a thing about a 15-year-old girl just playing basketball. I took a deep breath, toned them out, hit both shots, smiled at them, and continued on with my game. I felt great after this moment. Proving people wrong who judged me because of my skin is a different type of feeling. It proved that it truly doesn't matter.
I guess this game was the first time I was put down and treated differently for being White. It wasn’t only the announcer saying things from how I looked but it was also the team thinking I couldn’t play as well as my other teammates. It never bothered me mentally, I just ignored them and played my game. I may not have allowed it to affect me, but why didn't anyone stand up for me? Why was this just okay?
After the game, my team and I met in our huddle to discuss.
“Brooke, you were tough today.” He said. It was short and sweet, but I knew he was addressing what went down on the court. Having these experiences being on this team did make me tough. It also made me learn that I like being the underdog and the odd one out. You will never be remembered if you were like everyone else.
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