2 years. As a child 2 years felt like a lifetime and summer vacations felt like they were years long. At 40, 2 years can feel like 5 years or 5 months, depending on the situation that you apply to this timeline. Time is skewed by many factors and our perception of it is determined by our position in life. Time flies when you’re having fun but it takes painstakingly long when you are miserable.
Caroline Sawyer, 40, is a single mother who has lived in Sunnyside her entire life. From a young age, Caroline needed to learn to adjust to an unhealthy environment. In 2022, she turned 18 and was kicked out of her eighth and final foster home. There was no family that she could go home to at the end of a hard day or where she could comfortably lay her head at night. Homeless and hungry, she was willing to do whatever it takes to survive, which included selling her body. Unfortunately, this is not a foreign concept to girls living on the street and she met many others like her who were willing to do anything for a place to sleep at night. That lifestyle puts someone at a very high risk of frequently developing STD’s which increase your risk of developing reproductive cancers. With access to reliable healthcare, this risk is severely reduced and sex workers would be able to protect themselves from the dangers of their profession. Prior to the legalization of all forms of sex work in New York State in the year 2040, workers were less likely to seek medical attention because of the fear of getting arrested. Police were brutally attacking sex workers for decades and victims felt helpless because of their profession. Caroline was a victim of these brutal attacks and she had also not gone to a doctor for the duration of her time in sex work which lasted 21 years. She did not visit a doctor or gynecologist until age 39, which is when she discovered she was suffering from Metastatic Ovarian Cancer and was given a prognosis of 2 years to live. Caroline is my mother.
I am about to lose the only person that I have in this world because the system failed her. Time is running out and there is nothing I can do about it. My mother cannot afford treatment and cannot work due to her condition. I need my mom, she may not have been the perfect mother, but she is the only one I have. I need time and money!
It is times like this that I appreciate being in New York, fast cash can be made in this dumpster fire of a city. New York is now seen as the Devil’s playpen. The irony is not lost on me that I am about to find work in the same industry that is killing my mother so I can hopefully get the money to save her. But, we are currently living out of a women’s shelter without any money for treatment so, I am doing what needs to be done. Why does it feel like I am doomed to repeat my mother’s mistakes?
New York State is the only state in the entire country to legalize all forms of sex work and the use of drugs from any drug class. This legislation changed people’s lives forever, in good and bad ways. It has been 4 years since sex work has been legalized and 8 years since the legalization of the use of all drugs. The amount of sex workers who were able to lift themselves out of poverty is tremendous, people are safely profiting from this business and seeking medical care without fear of prosecution. Cases like my mothers are being prevented because of this legislation.
The economy has never been better because of the drug market. The FDA is profiting big time because of the Drug Legalization Act of 2036. The common man however, is not doing well. People have access to severely addictive narcotics and while drug related crimes are down, drug related deaths are at an all time high. People are dying but the government could care less because of the amount of money this industry is producing.
Working at any of the local brothels would provide me with benefits that would hopefully cover some of her treatment. I applied for them all and finally after a month, I was hired. I was informed that my insurance coverage would not begin until 90 days after I started working so I kept my head down and worked to gather as much money as possible to begin paying for her treatment.
After my first month of working at the brothel, I made enough money to cover one session of treatment. I kept up with doctor’s appointments to make sure I was staying healthy. I am grateful that we have systems in place that allow me to go to the doctor without being afraid. In the meantime, work was going well and things started looking up, until 6 months later. This was the first time that I was attacked by a client.
I don't remember much from that night, except for the time. 10 minutes felt like years because each second was filled with fear. The brothel was required to report the attack to the police. This was almost worse than the attack. I was forced to sit through a rape kit which lasted for hours. Poking and prodding at my body as if I were a lab experiment. All so that they can throw it into an evidence box and leave it in a closet to go untouched. It has been 3 months since my attack and I have yet to have an officer take my case seriously. Officers are not willing to help because of the movements that have pushed for defunding of the police. Over the years people have been fighting to defund the police because of the amount of minorities that have died at the hands of corrupt officers. Because of their severe lack of funding, many officers are spiteful and do not respond to reports of crimes. I am one of the many victims that have experienced the consequences of defunding the police. Crime is still a major problem and minorities are still unjustly dying. What was the point of pissing off the people that were supposed to keep us safe? Defunding the police was not the solution to the problem of systemic racism.
6 months later…
My mother is not doing well, even after multiple rounds of chemotherapy and many surgeries. I am trying not to lose hope but, it seems like this is only ending one way, my mother is going to die. Many nights, after I have come home from a shift, I would find her crying because she feels as though she failed me as a mother. I was coming home from the same work that was quickly killing her. I would explain that this was not the same situation that she had lived through and that it is much safer now but, it did not reassure her.
It has been almost a year of treatment and her condition has only worsened. My mother decided to stop treatment and live out the little time that she had left at home. A home that I was able to provide for us because of the brothel. The pain was severe and she was given fentanyl round the clock but it was not enough. She went nights without sleep because of the unbearable pain. The doctors could not up the dosage of her medication any more so it was just a waiting game till the end. She would beg for the doctors to end her life. I knew I had to do something. I knew people from work that would illegally distribute all kinds of narcotics and I would be able to get a large quantity of fentanyl. Drug use of any kind is legal however, it is illegal to obtain or distribute drugs from a non FDA approved source. This is how the government was able to ensure that they would profit from every aspect of the drug market. I came home that night with enough fentanyl to kill a horse.
We held hands as I sang to her the nursery rhyme that she would sing to me every night as a child, “You are My Sunshine”. She looked at me with tears in her eyes and said “I’m sorry that I wasn’t better.” I began to sob and hold her tighter. I told her that none of this was her fault and that she was the best mother that she could be. One last time she kissed me on the cheek and whispered, “You will forever and always be the best thing that ever happened to me”. I administered the high dose fentanyl and watched as her breathing slowed and eventually stopped. I held her and sobbed, both tears of relief and grief. I knew she was no longer suffering. She was free from the burden of time. She lived such a rough life that each year felt like a decade of misery.
My mother didn't have to die. If she was born even 2 decades later, she would most likely have survived her harsh life. People have been in this line of work since the beginning of time, why not make it a little safer?
Works Consulted
Duke, S B. “Legalizing Drugs Would Benefit the United States (from Legalizing Drugs, P 32-48, 1996, Karin L. Swisher, Ed. -- See NCJ-160030).” Legalizing Drugs Would Benefit the United States (From Legalizing Drugs, P 32-48, 1996, Karin L. Swisher, Ed. -- See NCJ-160030) | Office of Justice Programs, https://www.ojp.gov/ncjrs/virtual-library/abstracts/legalizing-drugs-would-benefit-united-states-legalizing-drugs-p-32#:~:text=%2D%2D%20See%20NCJ%2D160030),-NCJ%20Number&text=Drug%20legalization%20would%20benefit%20the,neighborhoods%3B%20and%20enhance%20public%20health.
“It's Time to Decriminalize Sex Work.” American Civil Liberties Union, 21 Jan. 2022, https://www.aclu.org/news/topic/its-time-to-decriminalize-sex-work.
Imarisha, Walidah. “To Build a Future without Police and Prisons, We Have to Imagine It First.” Medium, OneZero, 22 Oct. 2020, https://onezero.medium.com/black-lives-matter-is-science-fiction-how-envisioning-a-better-future-makes-it-possible-5e14d35154e3.
Nyce, Caroline Mimbs. “The Atlantic Daily: These Attacks Could've Been Prevented.” The Atlantic, Atlantic Media Company, 15 July 2019, https://www.theatlantic.com/newsletters/archive/2019/07/nationwide-epidemic-of-untested-rape-kits-atlantic-daily/594046/.
“Timeline of Fictional Future Events.” WikiSciFi, https://scifi.fandom.com/wiki/Timeline_of_fictional_future_events.
Schnelbach, Leah. “Six Literary Visions of the Future.” Tor.com, 23 Aug. 2018, https://www.tor.com/2018/08/23/six-literary-visions-of-the-future/.
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